I really love this quote. I have been wondering lately when my life will seem to "go back to boring". This is because in the last 5 months of my life, God has tested me and the Faith I keep, more and more, and I am exhausted.
I've had a beautiful baby, (my 8th wonder of the world, truly!) who also has Down Syndrome, Sebastian, and he has faced a couple serious infections, and is currently battling a colon infection due to all the antibiotics he has been on since birth. He continues to be assessed for his condition with his kidney which is very dilated, and hydronephrosis is diagnosed. My Most awesome dad passed away in March, from a very long disease that was crippling and very painful, (all my brothers and sisters and I including the in-laws, were present as he left us, very peacefully, and beautifully), and then a week later or so, we discovered our 8 1/2 year old son, Nathan, has been suffering from a chronic issue that is costing him his health, and fitness abilities, and is soon scheduled for a colonoscopy to determine the severity of his condition. I have felt so overwhelmed, and have not prayed so fervently in a long, if ever, time as now.
When others hear of my present circumstances, they quickly say something to the effect of, "Oh my goodness, you poor thing!" But, I am not surprised. I do not feel sorry for myself one bit, although I am reaching for support to help me through. I know that God Almighty has a plan for all of us involved, and I would hate to turn my back on something great that He has in the works. But it is hard, and frustrating, and tiring, and I long for a break. I am learning how important perseverance is if we are to attain the commitment God desires from us ,and the Glory He wishes to share of His here through us. We cannot give up.
I often wonder, "How much longer, Lord, do I have to keep this up? When will I be able to let down my prayers a bit?" I realize that true holiness is meant to be shared among our family and family members. And that we are to be witnesses to the strength and perseverance of Our Lord to Calvary. God doesn't want to call us to have to quit. To be like Christ, it must take our ALL. And for however long HE desires. Rest.... Rest seems like a far off word nowadays. But Holiness isn't acquired through a clock-out process, now is it? I realize that I have never before been asked by God in such a way, to keep going--- to keep the Faith, truly. Aren't all those we sacrifice for worth every ounce of our suffering? We were worth every ounce of Christ's!! I realize now, too, that true love is this. Completely giving of ourselves until we begin to feel so depleted, but we are never so depleted because we have the fullest joy of Life in Christ.
I want to become one of Christ's prizes for Himself. A saint. For all saints are with Him. Anyone who knows Him, truly loves Him, stays with Him, abides in Him, stands for Him, lives for Him, and dies for Him. Being a holy mother like Our Lady, the Mother of Christ, is very hard. We have much to learn from her. For she suffered more than any of us mothers ever could. She knows every pain, suffering, trial, you name it. I believe that is why Jesus Christ Himself gave her to us on the Cross. He knew we would need a prime example of how to endure. What a gift He gave to us. That HE gave His own mother to us, the same way The Father gave us His only Son.
I pray that all those who suffer in the mothering, or suffer in general, can turn to Our dear Lord and His Mother, and fall into their loving arms of hope, and feel encouraged to get up and continue. I know I have to. May God bless you in all your sufferings. May they bring great merit for all souls in need of Our Lord's mercy, as we unite ourselves to Christ, as we have died with him, we live with Him. Amen.
J.M.J.
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