A Memory

Yesterday was quite a nice day. The weather was beautiful: warm, sunny, and full of summer-to-come sights for the senses! My little church (aka family) spent the afternoon with my mom and siblings for a picnic.  They attended Mass in the morning, then visited my Dad's grave.  Apparently, those in charge of the cemetery removed what we had placed there over the spring (our makeshift headstone, and flowers) and put a fresh coat of dirt over his rocky grave. Now we are going to get a nice headstone that will be there in a place for him and my mom.  We agreed it'd be a good idea to take care of dad and mom altogether so when mom goes it'll be easier on us all, so that's what we are doing  and mom will know what her headstone will be!  Anyhow, I'm getting a little off course for the day.

Even though Memorial Day is for our Armed Forces, we still as the Army of God remember our loved ones. So we remembered Dad. God bless his soul; He is beginning to really be missed.  I had a moment yesterday when I was sitting on the deck with Sebastian ( who never got to personally meet Grandpa) and mom and my sister-in-law were inside eating, and everyone else was across the street at the park playing a seriously competitive game of Frisbee. It was a moment of pure quiet; it was kinda weird. I watched them playing, hearing them laughing from the distance and seeing and hearing faintly my kids and my niece playing on the playground swings and such. In that moment it struck me how bittersweet it was that Dad wasn't able to watch the family with me from the deck.  He'd always steer his scooter down the ramp off the deck and he loved being outside to eat and watch everybody.  But this time, he wasn't with us in person. It was such a nice day for a picnic, and we were all together, except he was gone.

"Hasta la Vista."

I was imagining him in what he would have been doing; what he would've said to Sebastian as he was playing on his mat on the deck.  I wondered what we would've talked about.  Then I had a thought that he would see what I saw and in his heart he'd be so proud of our family.  He'd see the joy in our togetherness and be happy and content.   I hold these thoughts and moments of contemplation in my heart. . .  He was watching from Heaven. I did bring a lemon meringue pie (his favorite!) to honor his choice of taste!


My brother proceeded later that night to have a lovely family meeting.  (It was priceless to be part of this one, as usually it's for my siblings that just live at home) and my brother Joe, is a great leader. He had a beautiful message for us prior to discussing his ideas, and I thank God for him.  It is also tucked inside my heart the scripture and  saint advice that he shared.  It was a personal moment, so I wish not to delve into the topic too much.  We are a very blessed family.

My brother, Stephen Jr., is getting married in July, and I am in the wedding with my sisters and a few of my kids!! It's so exciting. I picked up my dress yesterday during the picnic and my sister and I tried on our dresses together and it was a fun moment.  We talked about how we needed to go tanning, and tone our legs, and all that good-fun sister stuff when you're in a wedding, lol! Then we went for a run together which was refreshing.

To tell you the joy of the day wouldn't quite describe it fully.  But we are thankful. And we enjoyed remembering.  It's different: this life experiencing death of a parent. It's like a hole in your heart where someone once was, and them filling that space but from a different place, than now. We are still healing, but we have always "count[ed] it as joy" ~James 1:2. (In referring to the trials of life).

You have a front-row seat, now Dad, please pray for us!
The family keeps on.

J.M.J.