Earlier this morning after Mass, we had an amazing opportunity to see Father in Confession. As I was sitting there, contemplating my own struggles as a mom, the things I face from the scrutiny of the world, or the challenges that seem overwhelming, the Lord spoke to me and said this. "Love them the way I loved the cross! When it hurts, remember this: the cross splintered Me, and I embraced it. The crown of thorns pushed into My Head and I said nothing, but prayed forgiveness upon them. They pierced My Heart and My Precious Blood of Mercy poured out upon their faces."
I of course, got teary, Recalling how Christ chose His Cross out of love for ME. Nothing was going to deter Him from His Mission. And oh, how it sounds easier said than done for mommas to do this... But He kept telling me that I must trust Him. Especially with all those worries of my heart. I entrust my kids to Him.
I of course, was thinking where the cause is for all my downfall and sin in terms of motherhood. It's a little of everything. Marriage, kids, the world out there, the laundry in here, the list could go on. So many responsibilities can just plain drain a momma out. Being a mom to the teenagers, and then babies at the same time is beginning to reveal a great divide for me. I remember my kids all being babies. Now I have spunky teenagers reminding me of what fun is at that age. And I'm stuck in the middle. I'm mom yes, but I'm also 35. I'm not even over the hill yet. My heart still wants to have fun too. Part of me also still needs to be mom- the romodel-rule-making-don't-look-at-me-like-that-mom. And part of me wants to have babies, still.
A momma has to keep a clean house. Even more so when she needs to be organized and able to pull off homeschooling at the same time. Chores have to be done everyday. And she has to be the one to pull her kids off their devices at times to do them. All of these things can be very productive ways to bring peace into the home- or the opposite. It can start a whirlwind of complaining or fighting. This is where it's hard for every mom and dad. The strain of the kids pushing the boundaries and testing the waters makes for a tired momma. When they don't let up and submit to your authority, is when it's tougher than ever. My struggles are my lack of patience with the Lord at times to work miracles and make me have perfect kids now, and not trusting Him long enough for me to remember to keep calm and know that they will eventually turn out just fine, as long as I persevere. Getting flustered and angry is too simple a response that I end up needing to go to confession for because I had failed to be at peace. Let's face it- we all struggle and we probably can all relate to this exact scenario. The hurt that cuts when you have a child defying you and after everything you've done to bring him or her up properly. It's a setback momentarily. This is what I felt when the Lord said what He said to me. He also reminded me, "Trust Me. Pray for the Grace to trust Me and remain at peace."
He also said, "Pray that you respond to this grace to love your children in the midst of the chaos when they are making poor choices. Bring them to Me. You want to embrace family prayer time? Teach them to pray the way you like to pray. Give them what I gave YOU. Your mission is to bring them to ME. I gave you what you need to do this. If you would trust Me and listen to me..."
Now you see why the tears, heh? What a flood of truth! He had revealed quite a bit more to me, but I think I'm meant to keep some things to myself, for now. All I know is He wanted me to share this. He knows I forget easily if I don't write it down, and so I do write.
My relationship with Christ is amazing and ever-evolving. He is my breath. He is my energy. He is my Hope. It's so interesting how the Mass's readings today reflect so well in the lives and off the lives the faithful. I'm just amazed that the Scriptures today spoke of Philip's actions and that Peter said to "...be ready to explain the reason for this hope of yours." The Holy Spirit is so powerful and can speak volumes into our heart. But we must first, listen. And then DO. And by God's grace, we can succeed. We have a reason to hope, and we can simply trust Him. JMJ
Philip went down to the city of Samaria
and proclaimed the Christ to them.
With one accord, the crowds paid attention to what was said by Philip
when they heard it and saw the signs he was doing.
For unclean spirits, crying out in a loud voice,
came out of many possessed people,
and many paralyzed or crippled people were cured.
There was great joy in that city.
Now when the apostles in Jerusalem
heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God,
they sent them Peter and John,
who went down and prayed for them,
that they might receive the Holy Spirit,
for it had not yet fallen upon any of them;
they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.
Then they laid hands on them
and they received the Holy Spirit.
Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts.
Always be ready to give an explanation
to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope,
but do it with gentleness and reverence,
keeping your conscience clear,
so that, when you are maligned,
those who defame your good conduct in Christ
may themselves be put to shame.
For it is better to suffer for doing good,
if that be the will of God, than for doing evil.
For Christ also suffered for sins once,
the righteous for the sake of the unrighteous,
that he might lead you to God.
Put to death in the flesh,
he was brought to life in the Spirit.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Whoever loves me will keep my word, says the Lord,
and my Father will love him and we will come to him.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Jesus said to his disciples:
"If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
And I will ask the Father,
and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always,
the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept,
because it neither sees nor knows him.
But you know him, because he remains with you,
and will be in you.
I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
In a little while the world will no longer see me,
but you will see me, because I live and you will live.
On that day you will realize that I am in my Father
and you are in me and I in you.
Whoever has my commandments and observes them
is the one who loves me.
And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father,
and I will love him and reveal myself to him."