March For Life Instagram Takeover #WDSD PART 1

A Mother’s Heart

Becoming a mom to a child with Down syndrome is quite an experience. It is full of so many emotions; good, scary, doubtful, disbelief, and fear.  Most women who are expecting are “expecting” a healthy child who will develop into little prodigies that change the world.  They want to see their child excel in school, on the field throughout a sports career, and become self-confident individuals that can depend on themselves.   This is a great dream for any parent, any mother.  But what about those mothers who hear the words, “Your child may have Down Syndrome,” or, “Your child appears to have characteristics of Down Syndrome.”  Then what?

I was 32 when I gave birth to Sebastian.  I was never expecting this kind of scenario for myself, my family, or my child.  I had a great pregnancy, an easy delivery, but then there was the suspicion of Down Syndrome.  In only a few moments, before I could begin to even allow my emotions of elation and joy fill my heart, those words penetrated deep and got to the center of my heart first.  I was still lying on the bed, adjusting to the fact the contractions were over, hoping Sebastian wouldn’t need supplemental oxygen at my arms much longer when I handed him to the NICU team and  then I heard those words.   

Boom.  The shock was real.  The disbelief was real.  The questions…. The unknown, was real.  Of course, this is exactly how most mothers I come to learn, feel too, because most of us are not educated well on this diagnosis.  And it is a shame.  But, in that moment, I had hope.  As a Catholic woman, I immediately turned to God and told him to talk to me. I needed him to tell me something so that my heart could be at peace, and I could find my trust again in the Lord in this situation.

I had no idea that he would tell me so clearly, exactly what I needed to hear.  I had no idea where it would come from.  But then, a powerful sensation within my chest told me to look in His Word at the time Sebastian was born.  I was surprised.  How would this make sense?  I quickly asked my midwife what time he was born, and she said, “4:17” (pm).

My sister in law immediately began searching Scripture,  andfound only one place where anything made sense.  It was 2 Corinthians 4:17: “ For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”  I knew immediately what the Lord was asking of me, reminding me, and telling me.   It was the fact that even though this seemed like an unfortunate and difficult situation, it would bring about great glory for God, and I must trust Him, and was instantly at peace, and quiet in my heart.  I was able to accept this calling to raise one of His angels very well, and I became honored.  Yes, honored.  I looked at Sebastian one last time as I held him, before the NICU staff would take him to the NICU for however long that’d be, and I saw clearly in his little round face that the Down Syndrome was very apparent.  I broke down after holding back tears.  I knew in my heart that this little baby needed my full love, affection, kindness, and faith in him.  I quickly through the arms of my heart up to God, and asked him to take away any stain to the purest love for Sebastian away; that He would make my love for Sebastian just like His.  I didn’t want to miss a single moment of the JOY that I knew would come.  I wasn’t going to allow my lack of knowledge or education on his diagnosis ruin the love that Sebastian deserved.  I have never looked back, except to thank God with all my heart, for giving me that small token of his assurance, and the love for Sebastian I wouldn’t change for the world.  

Holding Sebastian one last time before heading to NICU

The NICU stay is difficult.  It is heart wrenching.  But no child is ever perfect or without trials.  Many are misinformed and believed that a child with extra needs and/or Down syndrome are at a “life” disadvantage.  Many believe they will suffer all their lives, that they will not know joy or happiness.  It’s such a lie.  One thing I stated very early on, was this fact.  You do not have to be a rocket scientist to have value to your life or to be successful.  God creates many kinds of people: some are ingenious people, some are laborers of the trade, some are business oriented, some are multimillion dollar stars, some are prayer warriors, some are clergy members, saints, and some, are merely gifts of love that remind us what life is really all about; to share with us what unconditional love truly is.  Sebastian is one of these people.  And he is happy.  And he loves life.  He is active, and playful, and his laugh and smile are enough to melt your toughest heart on a bad day.  Every single trial that brings about a new milestone is worth it.  Every. Single. One. 

Finding true love within what we coin as a “disability” begins with surrendering what you “think” is perfect and should be perfect,  to what simply is and loving it with all your heart.  Once I refused to allow my fear control that love, the doors to this life were  swung wide open with the greatest joy I have yet to see as a parent.  I’m not saying that my other children do not provide this for my mother’s heart, but when you see how hard Sebastian has to work to reach his goals, no one tried harder than him, and so much is to be appreciated and celebrated!  And I’ll add this: It is so entertaining and exciting to watch him show us he proves the stigma wrong every day.  The potential is there.  The motivation is there.  We merely have to fuel it.  Have faith in your child!  Be excited for him! Embrace the adventure knowing you are his world!  It’s ok to have someone depend on you.  It may take a little longer, but the journey is still actively happening!  Milestones can be reached! 

Momma's Pride and Joy

My life is so much more fulfilling because of Sebastian and  Iam so glad that God has blessed us with him.  If anything ever happened to him, my heart would crumble and a piece would die.  He is a breathing force of life to mine.  He gives me a reason to try as hard as he does on any given day.  He loves to share his friendly fist bump with anyone who’s willing to give one back.  

Watching Sebastian grow has been such a miracle for me to experience every day.   His first smile, his first time holding up his head, sitting up, crawling, walking, saying momma. . . have all meant so much more to me than I could have ever thought.  My other kids just “did” those things.  But, I wonder if we often take for granted those moments.  Sebastian taught me to appreciate every single achievement.  I’ve never been so excited to watch him do his thing.  He keeps life interesting and rewarding on so many levels for me.   I love his cuddles, his hugs, his love.  I love how excited he is when he accomplishes something he tries so hard to do!

  

Sebastian’s first plane ride and the stewardess was so moved by his very sweetness she was thankful for meeting him, and gave him wings.

 Sebastian is our little angel 

He loves to be read to and loves his books! He wants to learn! And he is so smart!

Sebastian has a fanpage on Facebook!

Seeing these little handprints on the school wall after he joined PreK made me cry.  I was so incredibly PROUD of him.  My life would be so very less "full" without what these "Little Hands" have brought into my life. It is why I fight so hard to #SaveBabieswithDownSyndrome Parents just don’t realize the gift in a child with DS.

Sebastian at his very first dental checkup.  Such a good boy.

    

This was my very first March For Life.  Our sign got so much attention. Sebastian's precious face shows the value of life with DS. #SaveBabieswithDownSyndrome

Our little Stud Muffin

As a mother to another mother contemplating abortion of their baby with DS, I’m asking you to have faith in your child.  Allow this child the opportunity to shine for you.  If you pour all your heart into this baby, the amount of love you get back with be 100-fold, and you will find a joyful and fulfilling adventure ahead!  The support is out there, come and find us!  As one mother among thousands in the same boat with this diagnosis, we offer great support to you. You are not alone.  Step aboard the happy train! 

As a mother to other mothers who aren’t as well educated on Down Syndrome, I’d offer this token:  trust the mothers and fathers and families who live this journey every day.  Being fearful and accepting only half truths and deceptions of what DS really is will leave you full of uncertainty even more.  Educate yourselves well with the truth of those who have benefitted from the joys these babies have brought into our lives.  Trust us.  We are the most accurate testimonies!  

I cannot say enough here, so that is why I am writing a  book for all mommas out there to have access to the truth and detailed life with a child with Down Syndrome and to lay your worries and fears to rest so that you too, can have the same confidence I had in the very beginning of my journey.  I want to help you turn those fears into joyful fulfilment!

Prolife Ride of a lifetime

Hi friends! Wow.  I’ve had such a fantastic opportunity recently to share my son’s story... Sebastian, my preciousness with Down syndrome, has been a little famous recently.  I’ve never fully shared his story, but I’d like to post my interview with Live Action here. I will try to add some more to the blog eventually.  Enjoy. I will keep fighting for all babies’ rights to life, especially those who are most disadvantaged and targeted for abortion.

https://www.liveaction.org/news/margaret-black-down-syndrome-babies/

Allow God to Take them into the Desert

As I sit here wishing to share my thoughts because it has been a while since I have said much of my own, I am in a state of blankness.  So much going on, being super busy, and just needing to rest in between it all is about all I have right now .... But I know there are morsels of grace I could share.  So I will try, and keep it simple and short.

Today is the Feast of the Beheading of Saint John the Baptist.  What a memorial.  John was the final prophet to introduce Our Lord before He was to made known to us.  His wisdom and holy life of preparation for His coming is an example beyond what can be understood, although we can attempt to understand it. 

John's sole purpose it seems, was to prepare the way for the Lord.  As I think of all the new college-goers, and students coming into the new school year (my kids, and my sister who just went to college last week and got moved in), I can't help but think of how John's endurance to serve the Lord first is also an example we must heed our attention to and continue to practice in faith.  I was talking to my daughter today--- and it's been difficult for her to figure out what she wants to do in life as an adult, in college, etc... I of course, encouraged her to pray and seek the guidance of God in her decisions.  Pretty basic, right?  But as I sit here and put these two things together, I am coming to the purpose of what to write today.  John knew our Lord from the very beginning of his existence, when he jumped in the womb of his mother as the precious sound of Mary's call to Elizabeth.  John also chose a path of self-mortification through his fasting days in the desert on locusts and honey. We are called to do the similar act of self-mortification and fasting as we are molded into people God wishes us to become.  So many temptations rouse our fickleness and distract us from His Plan.  We can get caught up in ourselves so easily, and lose that sight... We focus on our plans, and reward ourselves by working so hard, and forget to credit God for the gifts we receive, and we become engulfed in selfishness.  The Vice of all vices.  The virtue is what we must hold true to, doing the right thing, and continuing to pray, so that we, in a sense, allowing our efforts to do God's Will become our self-mortification. 

John said to make straight the paths for the Lord.  The path must be well lit, (which comes from our faithfulness and prayerful hearts), and we must not lose sight of His Will for us, by prayer, the Sacraments and sacrifice, to remain ON the path, and self-mortification so that we make the paths straight, where Christ can join us in our Journey.  When I say "we", I mean us and our kiddos must learn this lesson, daily. 

John suffered death, a horrible beheading, for his love our Lord and His Will.  He died what we think nowadays a humiliating death, as we are often afraid to be at the mercy of those who persecute us. So we chose to blend in, hiding our Christianity in a way. We hope our kids resist this temptation, and choose to serve the Lord vigilantly.  We all hope our kids will choose this virtuous and holy path, but it is not typically what we see from our kids at first. I struggle with the baffling reality that as my kids are aging, I cannot "read" them so easily.  Its frustrating, and we want the lines of communication to stay open, and we question their motives, their behavior, their path. 

Here is the catch:  But, we must allow God to take them to desert.  For, in the desert, they learn to know Gods Will, and the beginnings of wisdom to know God's Will are being shaped.  Some of them seem to have to be there a long time, where we as parents wonder how much longer before we see the fruit, and the victory over the temptations, trials, and tests.  As mothers, we have to have the kind of faith in them that we want to see them have.   Eventually, they will come back into the fruitful world and know the difference.   Either way, God's Will will come to be made manifest.  All the learning will amount to something God will use to mold our kids.  The desert is a GOOD place to cultivate holiness.  We must remember we are raising Saints first, scholars second. 

May Our Lord and St. John the Baptist be with you and your children in this new school year.
JMJ

Love them the way I loved the cross

Earlier this morning after Mass, we had an amazing opportunity to see Father in Confession. As I was sitting there, contemplating my own struggles as a mom, the things I face from the scrutiny of the world, or the challenges that seem overwhelming, the Lord spoke to me and said this. "Love them the way I loved the cross! When it hurts, remember this: the cross splintered Me, and I embraced it. The crown of thorns pushed into My Head and I said nothing, but prayed forgiveness upon them. They pierced My Heart and My Precious Blood of Mercy poured out upon their faces." 

I of course, got teary, Recalling how Christ chose His Cross out of love for ME. Nothing was going to deter Him from His Mission. And oh, how it sounds easier said than done for mommas to do this... But He kept telling me that I must trust Him. Especially with all those worries of my heart.  I entrust my kids to Him.  

I of course, was thinking where the cause is for all my downfall and sin in terms of motherhood. It's  a little of everything.  Marriage, kids, the world out there, the laundry in here, the list could go on.  So many responsibilities can just plain drain a momma out. Being a mom to the teenagers, and then babies at the same time is beginning to reveal a great divide for me. I remember my kids all being babies. Now I have spunky teenagers reminding me of what fun is at that age. And I'm stuck in the middle. I'm mom yes, but I'm also 35. I'm not even over the hill yet. My heart still wants to have fun too. Part of me also still needs to be mom- the romodel-rule-making-don't-look-at-me-like-that-mom.  And part of me wants to have babies, still.  

A momma has to keep a clean house. Even more so when she needs to be organized and able to pull off homeschooling at the same time. Chores have to be done everyday. And she has to be the one to pull her kids off their devices at times to do them. All of these things can be very productive ways to bring peace into the home- or the opposite.  It can start a whirlwind of complaining or fighting. This is where it's hard for every mom and dad. The strain of the kids pushing the boundaries and testing the waters makes for a tired momma.  When they don't let up and submit to your authority, is when  it's tougher than ever.  My struggles are my lack of patience with the Lord at times to work miracles and make me have perfect kids now, and not trusting Him long enough for me to remember to keep calm and know that they will eventually turn out just fine, as long as I persevere.  Getting flustered and angry is too simple a response that I end up needing to go to confession for because I had failed to be at peace.  Let's face it- we all struggle and we probably can all relate to this exact scenario.  The hurt that cuts when you have a child defying you and after everything you've done to bring him or her up properly. It's a setback momentarily. This is what I felt when the Lord said what He said to me. He also reminded me, "Trust Me. Pray for the Grace to trust Me and remain at peace."

He also said, "Pray that you respond to this grace to love your children in the midst of the chaos when they are making poor choices.  Bring them to Me. You want to embrace family prayer time? Teach them to pray the way you like to pray.  Give them what I gave YOU.  Your mission is to bring them to ME.  I gave you what you need to do this. If you would trust Me and listen to me..."  

Now you see why the tears, heh? What a flood of truth! He had revealed quite a bit more to me, but I think I'm meant to keep some things to myself, for now. All I know is He wanted me to share this.  He knows I forget easily if I don't write it down, and so I do write. 

My relationship with Christ is amazing and ever-evolving. He is my breath. He is my energy. He is my Hope. It's so interesting how the Mass's readings today reflect so well in the lives and off the lives the faithful. I'm just amazed that the Scriptures today spoke of Philip's actions and that Peter said to "...be ready to explain the reason for this hope of yours." The Holy Spirit is so powerful and can speak volumes into our heart. But we must first, listen. And then DO. And by God's grace, we can succeed. We have a reason to hope, and we can simply trust Him. JMJ 

Reading 1

ACTS 8:5-8, 14-17

Philip went down to the city of Samaria

and proclaimed the Christ to them.

With one accord, the crowds paid attention to what was said by Philip

when they heard it and saw the signs he was doing.

For unclean spirits, crying out in a loud voice,

came out of many possessed people,

and many paralyzed or crippled people were cured.

There was great joy in that city.

Now when the apostles in Jerusalem

heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God,

they sent them Peter and John,

who went down and prayed for them,

that they might receive the Holy Spirit,

for it had not yet fallen upon any of them;

they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Then they laid hands on them

and they received the Holy Spirit.

Reading 2

1 PT 3:15-18

Beloved:

Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts.

Always be ready to give an explanation

to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope,

but do it with gentleness and reverence,

keeping your conscience clear,

so that, when you are maligned,

those who defame your good conduct in Christ

may themselves be put to shame.

For it is better to suffer for doing good,

if that be the will of God, than for doing evil.

For Christ also suffered for sins once,

the righteous for the sake of the unrighteous,

that he might lead you to God.

Put to death in the flesh,

he was brought to life in the Spirit.

Alleluia

JN 14:23

R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Whoever loves me will keep my word, says the Lord,

and my Father will love him and we will come to him.

R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

JN 14:15-21

Jesus said to his disciples:

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

And I will ask the Father, 

and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always,

the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept,

because it neither sees nor knows him.

But you know him, because he remains with you,

and will be in you.

I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.

In a little while the world will no longer see me,

but you will see me, because I live and you will live.

On that day you will realize that I am in my Father

and you are in me and I in you.

Whoever has my commandments and observes them

is the one who loves me.

And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father,

and I will love him and reveal myself to him."